penis drinking straws

Multi Color Penis Straws

10 Rainbow Penis Straws
rainbow penis straws

No, real penises don’t come in five fun colors -- red, blue, green, yellow, and purple – but real penises don’t serve gin and Squirt either. So let go and live a little. These penis straws are slim and thin, with some veins and small balls. They look good stacked together in a holder and are more like real straws.


10 Neon Penis Straws

neon penis straws

Vibrant neon colors -- blue, purple, yellow, orange and violet – make these psychedelic penis straws unlike any others. They feature pronounced veins and shriveled offset balls and are very attractive and noticeable.

8 Pink and Purple Penis Straws
pink and purple penis straws

Alliteration aside, these cute cartoony penises are as pretty as a picture. Unrealistic, sure, but are you really looking for porno-style realism from your drinking utensils? Small and curved, these penises have no veins, just bumpy balls, pastel colors and a feminine vibe. Did someone say cognitive dissonance?


8 Colorful Bendy Penis Straws

Bendy penis straw

Remember when the Soviets first invented the bendy penis straw and everyone went nuts? Well, tear down that wall, Mr. Gorbachev! We’ve closed the dangerous bendy penis straw gap and made bachelorette parties safe for democracy. This is another example of a straw with a penis attached. These pink, purple and teal bendy straws have the penis glued just below the bend. The straight up and down (no curves) penis is definitely recognizeable but still looks a bit odd. It features no veins but does have a few fake plastic dents and wrinkles.


6 Jewel-Like Penis Straws
jewel penis straw

These straws with penis attached are very cute and unique, in blue, red and purple. The balls look like fat pads reaching around the base. No veins or marks of any kind. The straws can be placed in the dishwasher and reused at Thanksgiving or other bachelorette parties. The penis also can be removed and placed on almost any straw.


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